short stories

Two business men are standing in a room, one says to the other "You are a snake." Then he replies "Yes, I am." And he turns into a giant green snake and eat him. The End.

Steps to take after a breakup if you want to make it out alive

 (+other random cuteness to lighten your mood.)

Here is my guide to surviving a breakup with someone you may be very very close to.

1. Wake up early (not that you're getting much sleep these days.) Take a shower. Make your bed. Put on makeup and make yourself look your best, pick out your shoes for the day. 

2. Eat a healthy breakfast. Go to the store later and stock it with sweet and colorful fruits like apples, strawberries, grapes, watermelon, bananas, and also get plenty of chocolate.  

3. Immediately after step 2: Leave your house. Make plans with family and friends. If you're going to the park, hiking, swimming, spending time with friends, buying new makeup or clothes, taking your car to the car wash, getting a manicure/pedicure, or improving your life in as many ways possible then you're doing the right thing. 

4. Talk to a friend, family member, or counselor, or submit a question on yahoo answers if you aren't capable of doing the previous steps right off the bat. It helps to get some outside perspective and also to vent. You will be able to do step 1-3 after this. 

5. Listen to music that gives you self esteem. Sad love songs will only cause regret. Remember all the reasons why you broke up in the first place. 

6. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. If you unfortunately run into your ex, ignore them. Answer your phone and walk away if they try to start a conversation. Or if they say something to you, "Oh hey." *continues walking* is polite, yet distant so that they get you don't want to have a conversation. Or just ignore them.  If they follow you tell them you can't talk right now, but maybe they'll see you later. (Yeah right.)

7. You're ready to move on. You probably don't want to start dating right away, but... learning from previous mistakes will make future ones shape closer to your ideal. 

8. Most importantly remember that you can always trust again, cynicism is not your friend and never will be. There are lots of guys out there that aren't jerks, and I'm pretty sure you'll find someone new.



I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them.
John Stuart Mills